The Shape of Useful Hands

“The dust doesn’t care who you were—only whether you’ll stay long enough to matter.”

“I better check in with Joel,” Jamie said, breaking the silence that had enveloped us. “Nice to meet you both,” he added, his voice trailing off, dissolving into the air as he disappeared into the tent.

The canvas stirred briefly, then fell still—its dull beige surface absorbing him like mist into stone. For a moment, it felt as though the space he’d vacated remained charged, the air still shaped to his outline. A ripple of something lingered—curiosity, yes, but also that odd melancholy that often trails after someone who carries more than they say.

“Joel?” I asked, the name catching in my throat with a soft prickle of unease. I hadn’t meant for the intrigue to be so apparent, but it slipped out anyway. It sounded significant—anchored, as though it belonged to something deeper than a casual introduction.

Even here, in this heat-baked outpost of canvas and gravel, lives nested within each other—layered and concealed like termite chambers in rotting wood. There was no escaping the interconnectedness. I felt it now more acutely than ever: that blend of alienation and immediate proximity, as though I’d stumbled into a community where every person’s history hummed beneath the surface, unfinished and tightly wound.

“Jamie’s son,” Glenda said. Her voice was quiet, but not cold—more like something softened by use. The way she said it gave weight to the name, as if it belonged to a story too long to recount in full.

“He’s not been well,” Paul added, almost before she’d finished, his voice sharp with concern that didn’t wait for permission. His glance toward Glenda was brief but loaded, a flicker of shared thought passed without words. There was an edge in it—not panic, but something older and slower. The kind of worry that wears grooves into a person over time.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine after a few days’ rest.” He tried to brighten the tone, to lift it slightly above the terrain of worry, but it faltered before it reached its target. The hesitation in his voice said more than he intended—it trembled just enough to betray the truth beneath the hope. It was the sound of someone trying to believe in a good outcome while preparing for a bad one.

“Yes,” Glenda murmured, and there was something in the way she said it—too swift, too careful. As if she was agreeing more to reassure him than herself. Her eyes shifted towards Paul in a glance that was more gesture than expression, a small, delicate movement full of shared sorrow and understanding. Whatever Joel’s illness was, it wasn’t insignificant.

“Perhaps you and Kain would be best moving back in there for a short time,” she said after a pause, her gaze sliding towards the tent Jamie had vanished into.

Paul’s expression faltered for a moment—a flicker, barely there, but enough to catch. The smile he wore had been steady, almost reflexive, but now a crack split through it, the briefest glimpse of something raw underneath. Then, like someone pulling a coat tighter against the cold, he recovered. The smile returned, summoned from somewhere deep, somewhere practised.

“We have another tent,” he declared, pointing towards the ute with a semblance of cheerfulness that didn't quite reach his eyes. Still, it was something—a gesture of purpose, a thread to hold onto amid the frayed edges of uncertainty.

“Brilliant!” Glenda exclaimed, her voice bright, riding on a wave of genuine relief.

I glanced at Chris, then nudged him gently with my elbow, a quiet signal exchanged without words. It was time to contribute, to show we weren’t just observers drifting through this fragile little settlement.

As we stepped across the dusty ground, our shadows moving beside us like hesitant companions, Kain was already there, bent into the tray of the ute. His movements were fluid, steady—not rushed, not idle. There was something almost meditative in the way he worked, like someone used to filling silence with usefulness.

“Looks like they got a little dusty,” he said, expelling a dry breath as he straightened. The exhalation stirred the red dust around him, sending a fine plume up into the golden light. The particles rose in a brief, swirling dance, glowing coppery-orange as they caught in a sunbeam, like embers momentarily reborn.

I paused, watching them. It should have been beautiful—tiny specks suspended in light—but there was something else there too. A quiet warning, unspoken and fine-grained. The way the dust hung in the air reminded me of bushfire days back home, of masked volunteers handing out water bottles and pamphlets about particulate exposure.

Silica content… airborne irritants… breathing hazard, the familiar language stirred automatically at the back of my mind. I blinked, realising how quickly habit was reasserting itself—even here, in a place untethered from everything I thought I knew. The air was still, but not innocent.

“Here, let me take that,” Chris’s voice cut through, clear and kind, as he stepped in beside Kain. His hands reached for one of the tent boxes with the quiet confidence of someone who'd built more than his fair share of shelters in rough terrain.

“Thanks,” Kain replied, the word clipped but sincere. His nod wasn’t just polite—it carried that simple, unvarnished kind of gratitude I recognised from long hours on Landcare projects and storm recovery sites. A recognition of effort. Of willingness.

“May as well put it next to ours, I guess,” Paul said, his voice coming from just behind us. There was practicality in the suggestion, but something else beneath it too. A gesture, unspoken but understood. Not just logistics—proximity. Inclusion.

He pointed across the sparse clearing, towards a third tent that stood slightly apart. Its canvas sides rippled gently in the breeze, solitary but not unwelcoming. A space waiting to be filled.

Chris nodded and moved off in that direction, his boots pressing firm shapes into the fine earth. I watched him for a moment—shoulders set, strides measured. There was something in the way he walked, something I’d always trusted. A quiet steadiness, even when everything else felt as though it might come apart.

“Tent pegs,” Paul said, his voice nearer now.

I turned as he handed me a small rectangular box. One of those humble items that mattered more than it ever got credit for. The sort of thing you only missed once it wasn’t there.

“Thanks,” I said.

With the box held carefully in both hands, I turned to follow Chris. The earth beneath my soles gave slightly with each step—soft and loose, like walking on sifted ash. My footprints trailed behind me, faint and ephemeral, vanishing almost as quickly as they appeared. Temporary signatures in a place too vast and indifferent to keep them. And yet, part of me imagined the ground was noticing, however briefly. A silent witness to our arrival.

“Chris,” I called, quickening my pace to catch up.

He let the tent box drop to the ground with a dull, weighty clunk that echoed faintly, like a knock on a hollow door. I reached his side just as he was casting a critical eye over the spot we’d been allocated, the smaller box of tent pegs joining his with a muted thud. The sound was unremarkable—mundane, even—but it struck me as strangely final. As if that quiet impact had sealed something between us and this new place. An unspoken contract: You’re staying now.

“What do you think?” I asked, the question slipping out before I had time to filter it. I was trying to keep the mood light, to invite connection, but I could already hear the uncertainty feathering the edges of my voice. Hope and apprehension mingled there, uneasy companions.

Chris bent slightly, running his finger across the faded label on the side of the box. “Looks like this is another ten-man tent, just like the other three,” he said, eyes scanning the print before drifting outward toward the endless sweep of ochre dust. His brow tightened subtly, and he added, “It could be worse, I guess.”

It was meant to reassure, but his words rang hollow. Like saying a drought could be worse because at least it wasn’t fire.

The heat pressed against my skin, relentless and insistent. Sweat slid slowly down my temple, catching at the edge of my jaw. I wiped it away, but the dust clung stubbornly, forming a paste that scratched slightly as I moved.

I exhaled, long and low, and the air felt too dry to carry the weight of my words. “I just don’t understand,” I said finally, frustration surfacing, breaking the surface of the calm I’d been trying to maintain. The dust, the light, the silence—it all closed in, tight and unmoving. “I just… I…” The sentence unravelled halfway through, threads of thought slipping loose in the sheer emptiness around us.

Chris lowered himself into a squat beside the boxes, silent for a moment. Then he reached down and gathered two slow handfuls of the fine red dust. It ran through his fingers in rivulets, catching in the sunlight like rust-coloured sand. A simple gesture, but it held something weighty. Resignation. Reflection. A quiet kind of mourning.

“I don’t understand how any of this is actually real,” he murmured, voice rough, close to the ground. “But it feels real.”

His words struck something in me—an echo of the thought that had haunted every step since we’d arrived. This was too strange to be rational, too detailed to be illusion. And yet… here we were. Breathing the air. Feeling the grit between our teeth.

“I just thought there’d be more,” I said, almost under my breath. My eyes swept the landscape instinctively, scanning for some trace of life, some detail that might suggest this place held more than mere survival. But there was only dust. Dust and sky and the hot sun.

“Well, looks like there can’t be much less,” Chris replied as he stood, brushing his hands off against his trousers. His tone was dry, bordering on gallows humour, but it wasn’t unkind. Just a necessary release valve—a crack in the pressure.

I looked at him then, standing beside me in this blank, breathless landscape, and felt it all over again—that strange, low thrum of dislocation. As if our roots had been pulled from Earth’s familiar soil and thrust into this foreign, brittle ground without warning or consent. There was no map for this. No rules. Just sky too wide, dust too deep, and a silence so thick it felt like it was pressing down on us, testing whether we’d hold.

Determined to carve out a semblance of normality amid the uncertainty, I reached for Chris’s arm, my fingers finding the rough weave of his sleeve. It was a small gesture, steadying more for me than for him, but I let my voice carry a note of calm determination—something to latch onto.

“Come on,” I coaxed, gently tugging, hoping the tone would pass as conviction rather than quiet desperation. “We may as well keep ourselves busy until we figure this all out.”

The air around us was still thick with fine red dust, swirling in lazy spirals when disturbed, hanging like mist that never quite lifted. It clung to eyelashes and settled between the fibres of clothing, a constant reminder that even the atmosphere here was different. And yet, amidst the discomfort, there was something grounding in motion. The act of doing—of choosing purpose, however small—offered a thread of stability in a world that had offered none.

Chris sighed—soft, weary, but not resistant. The sound barely rose above the ambient silence, but it carried something with it: apprehension, shared and unspoken. He didn’t argue. He let himself be led, and I felt the weight of that unspoken trust settle between us as we walked.

As we neared the ute again, the breeze picked up just enough to lift a tail of canvas from one of the nearby tents, flapping once before falling still. Kain’s voice met us partway—easy, unbothered—suggesting some kind of reshuffling of roles. I didn’t catch the full sentence, but it was enough to prompt a response from somewhere deep in my reflexes.

“Chris and I can help,” I said, louder than I intended. The words rushed out, propelled by the need to be useful—to prove, perhaps, that we weren’t just bewildered tagalongs in someone else’s story. “We’re used to camping when we go on our short research trips. Shouldn’t take too long.”

A shard of the old life, casually offered. Once, that kind of detail would’ve been background noise in an informal briefing—"Karen and Chris off on another field survey"—but now, it felt almost sacred. A reminder of a time when our biggest worries were forgetting a sample vial or misreading a GPS coordinate, not survival in a dust-choked world with no clear centre.

Glenda’s smile reached me before her words did—warm, genuine, unfiltered. It stood out against the austere palette of our surroundings, like sun on frost. “That’d be great,” she said, and her tone didn’t just acknowledge the offer—it welcomed it.

Paul, hovering just outside the moment, glanced between us, his stance slightly uncertain. “So what am I doing now?” he asked.

The question fell into a brief silence, not awkward exactly, but weighted. It reflected something deeper—a disconnect, a subtle map of where the seams hadn’t quite joined. Chris and I. Jamie and Kain. Even Joel, unseen, was part of a familial thread. I glanced towards Glenda, and for the first time it struck me: she, too, stood a little apart.

There was something about her that suggested selection—not coincidence, not bloodline. Like me, she was here because of what, not who. But what that what was remained unsaid. Her posture, her voice, the subtle deference others gave her—all of it hinted at competence. Leadership, even. But no one had yet asked.

What does Glenda do?

The question surfaced unexpectedly, sharp amid the background fog of everything else. We were surrounded by unknowns, but this one felt personal.

Glenda’s voice broke through the haze in my mind, her reply as firm as it was unflinching. “You’re helping us put up the tent.”

Paul brightened—too quickly, too enthusiastically. “Great. Let’s get to it,” he said, the sudden eagerness jarring slightly against the subdued tone that had preceded it.

I watched him as he moved into action, his limbs perhaps more used to keyboards than canvas, his rhythm slightly too fast for the task at hand. Still, he was trying—throwing himself at usefulness with the kind of energy that hinted at reinvention. I wondered, fleetingly, who he had been before this. Some sort of digital strategist? A tech lead? A developer chasing software updates now reduced to pegging down canvas and hauling crates through grit.

But in this place, titles fell away like dead leaves. Now, every hand was equal—every effort, however clumsy, vital. The dust didn’t care what you’d done before. It only cared whether you could keep going.

And so, under the pale, watchful sky, we got to work. Piece by piece, movement by movement, stitching purpose into this strange, dry soil—one tent peg at a time.